Why am I always the one in the way,
the one who complicates things,
the one who always has to end it?
Three hearts I’ve hurt, lasting wounds.
And I’m reminded daily of the pain I’ve caused,
unknowingly, unintentionally.
Pieces here and there,
my heart and theirs.
Lasting memories of when it was good.
Then suddenly, everything is turned up side down.
one at a time, over the course of a year,
it’s overwhelming.
I see all of their faces,
all different but one emotion unites them against me.
They are hurt, confused,
“what went wrong” they ask.
A river of tears for each.
I weep over what’s been lost.
And yet the river,
it isn’t my tears,
it’s theirs.
They are the ones who bare pain on my behalf,
who gave love and received a heavy heart.
By Kendal M.
Sept. 26th, 2007
posted by four and a half at 11:20 PM
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Ok so i know that my last blog was spiritual also, but this just has to good of a message to keep to myself.
....READ ON...
If You Want Me To
By: Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to
CHORUS:
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
..............................
Alright..now that you have read it..
I seriously love this song so much! I happened upon it when i was in the middle of moving here to Indonesia and was having a serious mental breakdown and freaking out at God for making me come here. I mean this place is EONS different from where i lived before. But as i was listening to this song i just thought...."WOW God, I have been so selfish and unfair to you for thinking that i know whats best for me". This song always puts me back into perspective. I mean if we are afraid to step outside of our comfort zone for Jesus or be a light for Him in a dark place then it seems like we do not even care about all of the stuff that He went through to save us. It just reminds me of how much God loves us and we need to always trust in him. And obviously it was a good thing that I gave into God and accepted Him bringing me and my family here..or else i would not be writing thin blog :p. Ok well that is really all I have to say. Just wanted to give u guys the song to...listen to it...its GOOD! Ciao...<3
~~Hannah
....READ ON...
If You Want Me To
By: Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to
CHORUS:
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
..............................
Alright..now that you have read it..
I seriously love this song so much! I happened upon it when i was in the middle of moving here to Indonesia and was having a serious mental breakdown and freaking out at God for making me come here. I mean this place is EONS different from where i lived before. But as i was listening to this song i just thought...."WOW God, I have been so selfish and unfair to you for thinking that i know whats best for me". This song always puts me back into perspective. I mean if we are afraid to step outside of our comfort zone for Jesus or be a light for Him in a dark place then it seems like we do not even care about all of the stuff that He went through to save us. It just reminds me of how much God loves us and we need to always trust in him. And obviously it was a good thing that I gave into God and accepted Him bringing me and my family here..or else i would not be writing thin blog :p. Ok well that is really all I have to say. Just wanted to give u guys the song to...listen to it...its GOOD! Ciao...<3
~~Hannah
Labels: change, Christianity, song lyrics
I’ve created a monster. And I don’t know what to do. There is a story behind the story that most people don’t know. The story that has been told is misleading and contradictory to the story that has been left in the shadows. I’ll shine the light.
I liked this guy, genuinely had a crush on him. I loved the attention he gave me and the kindness and curiosity he showed towards me. He was sweet to say the least. The coolest part was that he liked me back and it showed. He asked me on my first date (ever!) and after that first date we started hanging out more and more. He was my first valentine and I thought he was a dream come true. He really liked me, I could tell. I liked him too. I started to wonder what was to come of it, were we going to be together forever, was he the one? This thought scared me, things were moving too fast, I didn’t know what to do. Should I distance myself, try to slow us down, put up the stop sign? I prayed earnestly day after day. My feelings for him lessened and I knew God was helping me let go. The last day of school I shared this verse with him:
“I want you to promise, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the timing is right.” Song of Songs 8:4
I explained that it wasn’t the right timing for us, that we needed to cool it. He told me he understood and agreed. I thought that was that. Time to turn the page.
The summer passed by full of new experiences and new friendships. School started back up and everything was normal. He and I were friends, nothing more, nothing less.
Now another guy has entered the picture. Some people have jumped to conclusions. They think we are ‘together’. At this point in time, we are not ‘together’. Is it a crime to like a guy? Some people understand, some don’t.
Now I’m being ridiculed for leaving the past the past. I’ve turned the page, started a new chapter, and some people keep looking back as if they are waiting for the past to change. It doesn’t happen that way. I don’t always make the right decisions. But who does? Emotions are ever changing, that’s why crushes come and go. Some people give more of themselves than others. Some hold on longer. Many people get hurt. That’s what happens. That doesn’t make me a heartless person, I wish people would understand that.
written by kendal
I liked this guy, genuinely had a crush on him. I loved the attention he gave me and the kindness and curiosity he showed towards me. He was sweet to say the least. The coolest part was that he liked me back and it showed. He asked me on my first date (ever!) and after that first date we started hanging out more and more. He was my first valentine and I thought he was a dream come true. He really liked me, I could tell. I liked him too. I started to wonder what was to come of it, were we going to be together forever, was he the one? This thought scared me, things were moving too fast, I didn’t know what to do. Should I distance myself, try to slow us down, put up the stop sign? I prayed earnestly day after day. My feelings for him lessened and I knew God was helping me let go. The last day of school I shared this verse with him:
“I want you to promise, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the timing is right.” Song of Songs 8:4
I explained that it wasn’t the right timing for us, that we needed to cool it. He told me he understood and agreed. I thought that was that. Time to turn the page.
The summer passed by full of new experiences and new friendships. School started back up and everything was normal. He and I were friends, nothing more, nothing less.
Now another guy has entered the picture. Some people have jumped to conclusions. They think we are ‘together’. At this point in time, we are not ‘together’. Is it a crime to like a guy? Some people understand, some don’t.
Now I’m being ridiculed for leaving the past the past. I’ve turned the page, started a new chapter, and some people keep looking back as if they are waiting for the past to change. It doesn’t happen that way. I don’t always make the right decisions. But who does? Emotions are ever changing, that’s why crushes come and go. Some people give more of themselves than others. Some hold on longer. Many people get hurt. That’s what happens. That doesn’t make me a heartless person, I wish people would understand that.
written by kendal